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Es gibt 70 Zitate in dieser Kategorie.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

A little girl goes into a pet show and asks for a wabbit. The shop keeper looks down at her, smiles and says:

"Would you like a lovely fluffy little white rabbit, or a cutesy wootesly little brown rabbit?"

"Actually", says the little girl, "I don't think my python would notice."

Nick Leaton

All generalizations are bad.

R. H. Grenier

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong.

Zall's First Law

Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win it means you are mentally retarded.

aus einer Newsgroup

Curiosity *may* have killed Schrodinger's cat.

Das ist kein Motorrad, das ist ein Chopper, Zuckerschnecke.

gefunden in news:de.rec.motorrad

Do you know the actual problem or are you guessing?

Eine bescheuerte Signatur ist immer noch besser als gar keine.


Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Groucho Marx

Engineers build things; scientists describe reality; philosophers get lost in broad daylight.


Evolution. Still just a theory!

Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.

Erik Naggumhttp://groups.google.no/group/comp.lang.lisp/msg/e8006d8ddc903c45

How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is clearly Ocean.

in 'Nature'

How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Zall's Second Law

I don't believe in supernatural forces, except my mother-in-law.


I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

I wrote a book on penguins. Paper would have been better.

Gary Delaney

Ich habe eine Diaet gemacht und fettem Essen und Alkohol abgeschworen - in zwei Wochen verlor ich 14 Tage.

Joe E. Lewis

If I haven't seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.

Hal Abelson

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Lowery's Law

If there is something like ArtificialIntelligence, there must be something like ArtificialStupidity, too.

If you're not scared or angry at the thought of a human brain being controlled remotely, then it could be this prototype of mine is finally starting to work.

John Alejandro Kinghttp://www.quotationspage.com/quote/39698.html

In der ganzen Geschichte der Vereinigten Staaten von Amerika ist noch nie ein Vizepräsident erschossen worden. Das sollte man bei seinem nächsten Mitarbeitergespräch bedenken.

Dr. med. Eckart von Hirschhausenhttp://www.hirschhausen.com/

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams

In these modern times, many men are wounded for not having weapons or knowledge of their use.

Achille Marozzo, Anno 1536 ;-}

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Douglas Adams

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.

Douglas Adams

Jaques, 7.dan: 'Do the technique that way (zeigt die Technik).

Joerg, 5.kyu: 'Sure?'

Jaques: 'Yes, sure.'

Auf einem Aikido-Lehrgang.

Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -

they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

Lieber natuerlich bloed als kuenstlich intelligent!

Meine groesste Hoffnung: dass in jeder Talkshow jeder Gast zum Talkmaster sagt: 'Das geht sie nichts an!'

Kabarettist Gunkl

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Groucho Marx

My strategy is to encourage my opponent to make mistakes by way of example.

Never criticize anybody until you have walked a mile in their shoes, because by that time you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

email sig, Brian Servis

Never too old to rock'n roll, but always too young to die.

One planet meets another one:

- Hey, how are you?

- Oh, I feel sick. I suffer from homo sapiens.

- Don't worry. That passes.

Please help - firewall burnt down last package.

Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to slap them silly.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that's not why we're doing it.

Richard Feynmanhttp://bc.tech.coop/blog/071226.html

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Douglas Adams

StGB SS328 Absatz 2.3: Mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu fünf Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe wird bestraft, wer eine nukleare Explosion verursacht.


The atmosphere of the average workplace is what flames painted on the side of a car are to speed.

Paul Graham

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

Douglas Adamshttp://www.quotationspage.com/quote/720.html

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Douglas Adams

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

William's Law

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

Turns out the border between genius and insanity is a pretty cheery place.

Paul Grahamhttp://landoflisp.com/

Und was macht Ihr Friseur von Beruf?

Very funny, Scotty! Now beam up my clothes...

Want to make $$$$ really quick? It's easy:

1. Hold down the Shift key.

2. Press '4' four times.

WANTED: Schrodinger's Cat. Dead or Alive.

Was sind 100 tote Jurastundenten auf dem Meeresgrund?

Ein guter Anfang!

We will use functions for Mother and Father, because every person has exactly one of each of these (at least according to nature's design).

Russell, Norwig; (Lehrbuch fuer Kuenstliche Intelligenz), Seite 197

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Robert Wilensky, University of California, 1997

Well, at least it's easier then getting Mr. Mxlplx to say his name backwards.

Kirk Lawson in 3F5648A7.BA4AD513@heapy.com_SPAMSUX

Wenn nicht Coca Cola sondern Puma den Nicolaus eingekleidet hätte, hieße er dann inzwischen Nipumaus?

Wer frueh stirbt ist laenger tot.

Soviel zum Thema 'Unendlichkeit' ;-)

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Peter O’Toolehttp://byzero.de/zitate/

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.

Alan Perlis

Wie kommt man vom Grunzen und Stöhnen unserer affenartigen Vorfahren zur sprachlichen Raffinesse eines Shakespeare oder George Bush?

Wise men speak because they have something to say.

Fools speak because they have to say something.

Wussten Sie, dass fast alle Menschen mehr Beine haben als der Durchschnitt?

Zwei Dinge sind unendlich, das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit, aber bei dem Universum bin ich mir nicht so sicher.

Albert Einstein
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